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Combatting holiday stress? The 'crappy dinner party' idea might help

The most wonderful time of the year can also be the most stressful. KGW talks to a local doctor for tips to help manage it.

PORTLAND, Ore. — If you’re feeling overwhelmed right now, you’re definitely not alone: The holidays can be taxing on our mental health.  

“The holidays are in full swing, and that comes with a lot of joy and celebration but can be really stressful,” said Executive Medical Director for Regence Dr. Tracy Muday. “There are a lot of expectations about what this time of year should be like.”

Dr. Muday said lowering your holiday stress can often starts with lowering the expectations.

“Your Christmas does not have to be Christmas card perfect,” she said. “Give yourself some grace, and remember it’s okay not to feel merry all the time.” 

From financial strain to the exhaustion of being so busy, the season of joy can take a lot out of you. So here are some tips to keep in mind:

  • Remember it’s okay to say no to holiday commitments.
  • Be realistic about how much you can handle this season. Remember that you’re only one person, and there’s only so much you can (or should) accomplish.
  • Don’t forget about your own needs and take a break. 
  • Maintain healthy habits.

In addition, Dr. Muday said, exercise is helpful for not just physical health but also mental health. Dr. Muday said if you go outside to get your body moving, that is even better.

“A good way to kind of reset, get some space, set your mind at ease,” she said.

Social connection is also really important any time of year, but the expectation of getting together for the holidays can be overwhelming.

Dr. Muday has a solution. It’s what she calls “the crappy dinner party.”

“It shouldn’t be planned. Don’t clean the house. Dinner gets made with only whatever you have on hand or only what you’d feed to your family — just make a little more of it so your friends can join,” she suggested. “And if you do that, you’ll find it takes away some of that stress of entertaining and reminds you of just the joy of connecting with people that you love.”

For some, however, it’s more than the added stress of the season: Many people are dealing with grief and the toll it can take on you both mentally and physically during the holidays.

“This is a time of year when a lot of people can be grieving the loss of a loved one. Sometimes it’s an anniversary, sometimes it’s a first,” Dr. Mudsay said. “And those feelings can get amplified. People can feel isolated when everyone around them is seeming joyful and they don’t’ feel that way.”

That is why, she said, it is crucial to reach out to the people in your life and offer support: Ask them about how they are feeling and listen.

“Remember that you don’t always have to be jolly; we don’t always have to put on our game face. It’s okay to just be real, especially with friends and loved ones — let them know how you’re feeling,” Dr. Muday said.  

   

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